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To have a conversation

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What is worth talking about? Is all we say important? I think everyone has heard the usual exhortation of Say whatever you want to say, you won’t have time once you kick the bucket. Dead man tells no tale, after all. But, the thing is, what do we want to say? The moment we open our mouths, we realize we know barely where to start.

We all have the shared advantage to have experienced life. Exciting experiences are another thing altogether. Excitement is a factor we humans do not share evenly, but we have all had our ups and downs, our perspective on things. This is something we should feel blessed about having. A starless night, a peaceful glimpse on our mother’s eye before she leaves our room, a lover’s touch during the weekly report meeting. Remembering these things is what brings joy and meaning to many of our days.

But to have a conversation, to share our life with others, to open our mouths and say what we want to say is beyond experience. What a ridiculous thing to think it is achievable with the simple act of opening our mouths. A starting point, maybe. Certainly better than to bottle up and have nowhere and no one to share it with.

But there is a crippleness in almost all of us. Our mind and our mouths are confused and have nothing to share between them. We are trapped in thinking and we can’t say what we want to say because our minds reveal themselves as strangers to us, rather than friends. Words do not feel beautiful or in sync. Experiences seem to lose their shine if we are not capable to share it with just the right words. Another person’s stale face during and after our chit chat is a major consternation. They don’t get it. We did not accomplished to made it clear. No one will understand what we say. A shout in the dark.

What is worth talking about? Everything. It is just that people might not be as interested on it as you are. What would give you pleasure then, when expressing yourself? Maybe the story itself. We are, however, our own executioners, our own obstacle towards retelling the stories of our lives. This does not need to be intrinsically tragic. At all. To recognize its difficulty is what gives the struggle against ourselves a drive, a face, a possible resolution. In order to have a conversation with others, to say the things we want to say to others, we need to have first and foremost a constant conversation with ourselves.

Stereolab Cybele’s Reverie. Que faire quand on a tout fait / Tout donné en vrac et en détail?

One response to “To have a conversation”

  1. An olive branch for things left unsaid – Fanny Esquivel Avatar

    […] is hard. Like, super hard. When I accomplish it I feel a wave of satisfaction which runs from the tip of my head and all […]


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